Welcome to the jungle, we got fun & games

I’m walking wounded.

My ankle was injured last summer and I’m trying to decide if I’m going to get the surgery to fix it or not. Last Saturday, I screamed “Welcome to the Jungle” in my best Axl Rose voice and four days later my throat still hurts. I think I might have strained a vocal chord. I sound like Vito Corleone on his only daughter’s wedding day. I can make you an offer you can’t refuse…

Tell me, is it better to drink something cold or something hot when you have a sore throat? I always thought cold would numb it, but hot would soothe it. I’ve been drinking coffee all day and it does seem to help, but I wonder how a big Shamrock shake from Mickey Dees would feel on my throat?

Have you ever noticed that there are plenty of stories that start off with, “Let me start by saying I was really, really drunk at the time…”, but none that start off, “My buddies and I were drinking all day… coffee, mind you. The good Columbian stuff. Anyway, we were drinking and on a caffeine buzz when…” Why is that?

On a completely different tangent, a friend of mine told me she had never participated in a threesome. I said I hadn’t either, but the thought of two girls sounded like fun. She was offended, in a mock sort of way, that I immediately thought of one guy and two girls instead of one girl and two guys. I said I’d invite a guy friend over and she could demonstrate what she was talking about.

For some strange reason that was an offer she could easily refuse.