Diamonds are a girl’s best friend

That damn diamond commercial where they guy puts the diamond necklass on his wife’s neck as she’s sleeping and then pretends to fall asleep and then reacts to her surprise with a smile… you know that one? I hate that commercial.

I hate it because it’s exactly the sort of romantic gesture that I would have done to my wife/girlfriend. No guy can ever do that now, because his girl will always say, “Real original… saw that in a commercial didn’t you?”

I hate diamonds. Well, I like the KISS song, “Black Diamond.” I like baseball diamonds. I just hate jewelry store bought diamonds.

Jewelry store diamonds are a huge scam. Have you seen Blood Diamond? Me, neither. However, I know it’s all about the EEEEVIL diamond trade.

It’s been a while since I’ve shopped for an engagement ring and at the rate I’m going it will probably be a lot longer. Still, I hate diamond engagement rings.

Of course, I love looking at them on the delicate fingers of my friends and family. I’ve fostered a habit of looking at women’s left hands for that wedding/engagement ring.

Case in point, I had a very attractive sales person came in to the YMCA yesterday. She sounded incredibly cute on the phone. She came in and, of course, she was exactly my type. She looked about 35 with a nice tan and a low cut blouse that was driving me crazy. She did need an appointment with Proactive, but it wasn’t that bad. Beautiful eyes. Long dirty blonde hair.

Wedding ring on her left hand. Shite.

I’m like Miss Hannigan from Annie except I’m not seeing little girls everywhere, but diamond rings.