I went to a party last Saturday night

I went out Saturday night.

I drove 45 minutes to see my friend play with his band.

I was supposed to go with a friend of mine, but her son became sick and she had to cancel on me.

I struck out with two hot girls I was playing up.

One said she was drinking Jack and Coke, but I was pretty sure it was just Coke and Coke. She said it would grow hair on my chest, but she wouldn’t show me her chest.

The other said her name was Dene, like Rene with a D. She was a blonde and had a very sexy black thong on.

I had one Red Bull and Vodka and five Red Bull and Red Bulls. I didn’t get to sleep until 3 a.m. and this morning I had five cups of coffee.

I like caffeine. I like girls.

Caffeine I can get. Girls… not so much.