Low Rider

I’m an idiot. A moron. An imbecile. Let me explain.
As you all know, if you are fortunate enough to own a motor vehicle in good working order, you have to register your vehicle every year. Here in Illinois they fleece you for $75 and I rarely receive a reminder that I need to do this.

So about a week ago I’m putting stuff in my trunk and realize that my sticker expired. In March. Seven months ago.

Now normally, I would slap my palm to my forehead and say, “oy vey” cause I’m really a short Jewish man. Seriously, I went “oh crap” and then I wondered if I could get by with six more months and not have to pay my $75 registration sticker.

I was wrong to think that.

Actually, I was planning on going to the DMV and take care of this little mishap because its happened not once, but twice before.

The first time it happened I was with my now ex-wife on our anniversary. We had just had a wonderful candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant. We were on our way home for a night of unbridled passion when the red and blue cherries popped behind me. The cop pulled me over, gave me a ticket for expired registration and killed any chance of a hot night in Seanland. No wonder she divorced me.

The second time happened a few years ago. The cop pulled me over and I had no clue what for. I was freaking out. He calmly informed me my registration sticker was overdue by a few weeks and that I’d better take care of it. He let me off with a warning.

Of course, today I get pulled over by a cop to inform me that my sticker is out of date. I get a $75 ticket and now have to go pay $75 to get my registration renewed, plus the ticket. So, I doubled my pleasure, doubled my fun. To add insult to stupidity, I didn’t have my up-to-date-insurance card in my car. While the cop ran my plates to make sure I wasn’t an escaped felon, I called my insurance company to make sure I was still driving an insured vehicle. They told me nicely that I did indeed still have insurance with them.

I’m only going to assume my 2007 insurance card is right next to my 2007 registration renewal notice. The good thing is that I can just go down to the court house and show proof of insurance (which will be arriving in the mail any day now) and they will drop the second ticket.

I’m such an idiot.