I went out Friday night to see the KISS tribute band Strutter at one of the local clubs. I went by myself since nobody wanted to come with me and enjoy the faux sounds of a KISS look-alike band.

I had three vodka and Red Bulls and then three more straight Red Bulls. The band was talented, but the guy playing Paul Stanley was too fat and one thing you don’t want is a fat Paul Stanley. He also started every conversation with the “audience” with a “whooooooo,” which is totally wrong. Paul starts every interaction with, “People!”

On the flip side, the guy playing Gene Simmons was downright creepy. He had all of the mannerisms down pat. He sounded quite a bit like him and actually blew fire, which I thought for sure was going to catch the ceiling and we’d have another Great White disaster.

They played Beth and the dude playing Peter Criss was uncanny. Hell, it might have been Peter Criss for all I know. He was incredible.

At the end of the night, I approached this hot red head named Jackie. She had three kids, an ex-husband who was doing cocaine, a soon-to-be-ex-husband who was going to jail for six years, smoked like a chimney and had an incredibly ugly friend. Her convict-to-be husband’s parents were watching the kids and so she had to head home for the night. I admit I think I might have had a chance except for the kids.

Of course, after reading that description you’d wonder why the hell would I bother. Did I mention she was really, really hot and lately I’ve been having this thing for red heads?


Anyway, I gave her my card, but I doubt I ever hear from her again. Probably for the best.