New KISS Album Marketing 101

Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons have announced they will begin work on a new KISS album. I’m quite happy they’ve decided to move forward with this project and I have a few words of advice for the band and manager Doc McGee.

1. Do exactly what AC/DC, Journey and the Eagles did. Did you see how well AC/DC, the Eagles and Journey did with their releases? Here’s what you do: take JIGOKU RETSUDEN, the Japanese only album of classic KISS recordings re-recorded with the present line-up, record ten or twelve killer new tracks, create a double album like Journey, release the album with the full power of Wal-Mart. Forget Best Buy or Target-only releases. Make sure the album is released through Wal-Mart and iTunes ONLY.

2. Create supplemental merchandise (i.e. T-shirts, hats, posters, etc) that can be sold in conjunction with the new album at Wal-Mart. I’d make sure the Gene Simmons Axe Guitar Hero/Rock Band controller is sold through Wal-Mart.

3. Create a KISS Guitar Hero/Rock Band collection a la either AC/DC or Aerosmith. Sell it exclusively at Wal-Mart.

4. Document the entire recording process from start to finish. That means someone with cameras with you the entire time in the studio and maybe a bit outside the studio. Also, record the band playing the entire album from start to finish in the studio sans make-up. Preview the documentary video on the ad supported Hulu for free, move to iTunes video for pre-sale, then sell the DVD as a two-disc set at the same time the new album drops. Have Wal-Mart collect the DVD/CD into one product at a decent price point and reap the rewards.

5. Do not use outside writers. Desmond Child and Holly Knight can write for someone else. I’m sure some will want you to work with Vinnie Vincent as a songwriter, but I’m not one of them and besides I don’t think Gene will go down that road. I want to see more Simmons/Stanley credits. If you want the album to sound like classic KISS, then don’t hire outside writers.

6. Do not try to be current and replicate what is hot in rock i.e. Nickelback, Hinder, etc. Listen to your recordings from the first album through Love Gun as inspiration. Do not use Destroyer as a template. If you must use a template, use either the first album or Love Gun.

7. Tommy Thayer cannot sing lead on any track. I like they guy, but I think his singing voice might be worse than Ace Frehley’s. Eric Singer can sing any song in the vein of Nothing to Lose or Hard Luck Woman. I’d like to hear a song with trade-off vocals like Shout it Out Loud/C’mon and Love Me which really harkens back to classic KISS.

8. Under no circumstances create a concept album. I like The Elder just as much as the next KISS fan, but for the most part that album sucks donkey. Don’t even entertain the thought.

9. Visually, the band must create new, original outfits and the album cover should reflect these new outfits. I’d seriously consider having Todd McFarlane do the cover. The name of the album has to be iconic and probably should be the title of the best track on the album.

10. Book massive American tour and play everywhere that will have you. Do not do a co-headlining tour with Queen or anyone else. Do not have an opening act. Start the show at 8:05 PM and confetti at 10:00 PM. Play at least 20 songs. No solos. No Gene flying. No Paul private stage. Add giant stage length screen as backdrop which changes throughout the show and is the main focus.

Maybe I should email this to Gene…