Livin’ in the Future

I flipped on the TV last night and found Star Wars Episode II, which I had not watched in a good long while. Of course, I’ve seen the movie a bunch of times and I know how it all goes, etc.

I picked it up right when Padme falls from the ship and Anakin gets all whiny and Obi-Wan gets all you’ve gotta job to do. When I saw this scene, after many years of not watching the movie, I was shocked at just how preposterous it is. First of all, Padme should have been seriously injured with a fall like that, but she wasn’t. I remember the crowd in the theater bursting out laughing at the scene when the trooper finds her.

Second, after Obi-Wan goes down to the superior stunt double of Christopher Lee, Ani jumps in and starts attacking with two light sabers. I remember being utterly disappointed that he actually fought with the two light sabers and we didn’t get some really cool moves and it was for such a short time. Watching it again, I realize it was an insanely short time. Complete wasted opportunity.

Thirdly, the Yoda fighting Dooku stuff just doesn’t hold up anymore. In the theater, when Yoda gets all “I’m gonna kick your ass and uses the Force to bring his saber into his hand,” the crowd went apeshit. And then he started spinning, jumping and doing all sorts of acrobatics. I hated it. It looked stupid. After watching it again, I agree with my earlier thoughts. I finally turned it off, but not before I realized the Jedi use the Force in the most idiotic ways. In covering his escape, Dooku topples a tower toward the seemingly helpless Ani and Obi. Instead of simply using the Force to pull Kenobi and Ani to safety, Yoda holds the heavy bit of machinery with the Force and moves it away from hitting them. Dumb. Bad storytelling.

Anyway, the light saber fighting pissed me off so much that I went and found my DVD copy of RVD2 and watched it twice. Now that’s how you choreograph a light saber fight scene. If you haven’t seen it before, please watch it below. I’ll wait.

See?!

As I understand it, neither of these dudes are working in the industry. One of them worked at Lucasarts for a bit, but not anymore. Seriously, George… hire these guys for your new live action Star Wars television show. I bet they’ll work cheaper than any other choreographer and we’ll get some exciting fighting.