I welcome the return of the M.C.F.A.T., Mysterious Cloaked Figure’s Astonishing Tests. It’s been a while since MCF has done one of these and I think longer since I played along. So, here I go!

Are you offended when a film or television show lampoons something close to you, be it nationality, faith, gender, etc.? If so, how do you respond?

I am rarely offended by anything except brazen ignorance. I wasn’t offended by the Obama cover on the New Yorker a few weeks ago, but I’m sure I would be offended by the level of ignorance of people not understanding the parody nature of the piece. Of course, I didn’t think who the cover was supposed to make fun of was easy to “get” i.e. not Obama and his wife.

If you were granted with superhuman intelligence and or abilities that had the unfortunate side effect of ending your life in a few days, how would you spend your final hours?

Finding a way to reverse or eliminate the side effect. If I have superhuman intelligence, I’m sure I can find the answer.

If someone you knew repeatedly demonstrated poor hygiene, would you ever broach the subject and tell the person?

Perhaps. I’ve told girlfriends their breath was bad and had it told right back at me, but that’s not quite hygiene. I don’t think I’ve ever known someone who was that way.

Who are some of your favorite television characters that originated on one series before being spun off into another?

No one comes to mind, which is kind of sad really. I was never a fan of Frasier or Joey. Worf was also never exactly a favorite or mine. I guess I’d rather see original content than spin-offs.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What was the name of my first pet, and what was it?
“Blankey.” It was, of course, the blanket you were wrapped up in as a baby. Years later, you had hoped to fashion a costumer of sorts from the material, but your mom threw it out when you were three and sold the rocket you were found in at a garage sale when you were five.