You Might Be a Rich Guy…

Found over at The Huff Post. It actually made me laugh.

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy (no, wait, he should be apologizing to all of us for that lame redneck schtick):

If you can’t count how many homes you have, you might be a rich guy.

If you think it takes $5 million a year to be rich, you might be a rich guy.

If you think some people “are poor if they’re billionaires,” you might be a rich guy.

If you have a fireplace next to the outdoor spa in one of your mansions, you might be a rich guy.

If your plan to cut taxes on the wealthy would save your family $373,429 a year, you might be a rich guy.

If you dumped your first wife to have an affair with a wealthy heiress, you might be(come) a rich guy.

If you fly around with a lobbyist on corporate jets while doing favors for her client, you might be a rich guy.

If you wear $520 loafers, you might be a rich guy.

If your annual expenses for servants are five times the median income per person in America, you might be a rich guy.

If you refer to your 6-acre Sedona lakeside estate, worth more than one million dollars and complete with a large home, a guest house, and the house next door, as a “cabin,” you might be a rich guy.

If you think that no American would pick lettuce for $50 an hour, you might be a rich guy.

If you fly around on your wife’s corporate jet for free, you might be a rich guy.

If you think that big corporations need $200 billion in tax giveaways, you might be a rich guy.

If you think inheritance taxes on multi-millionaires need to be cut by 67%, you might be a rich guy.

If you think being given a vice president’s job at your father-in-law’s beer company is an accomplishment, you might be a rich guy.

If you and your wife are worth well over $100 million, you might be a rich guy.

If you think selling junk on eBay is how Americans can avoid poverty, you might be a rich guy.

If you think it’s normal to take a free trip to Charles Keating’s opulent Bahamas retreat and get $112,000 in campaign donations in exchange for meeting with federal regulators on Keating’s behalf, you might be a rich guy.