Heroes and Push

I finally watched the first three episodes of Heroes and the stoopid it hurtz. Now, I love time travel stories. I love time paradoxes and alternate universes/futures. However, so far the writers are sucking at utilizing the best parts of alternate futures/paradoxes and are making the characters act dumb.

Seriously, the story logic is just killing me. Let me start with the Hiro storyline.

Hiro, of course, disobeys his father, opens the safe and promptly gets half of the world destroying formula stolen. His solution is to go into the future and see what happens and then start a “quest.” No, that’s stupid. Fix the problem Hiro made. The solution is to go back into the past, tell his father he’s from the future and to please put a decoy formula in the safe, take a digital picture of the real formula, destroy the original and upload the digital file to the company’s email server and encrypt and safeguard the file with a password that only Hiro can find by using his powers over time and space. Also, hide the memory card in the past as a backup. The bad guys think they have the real formula and Hiro uses his powers in a way that seems intelligent.

The Suresh storyline is just as dumb. Has he never seen The Fly? Why would a man so intelligent inject himself with an untested formula on some dock? Oh, I know… so the writers can have him beat up some homeless longshoremen. Plus, his powers are all Spider-Man-like. If Micah can invoke the Hulk, then Suresh HAS to mention Peter Parker. The problem though, is that if you have someone climbing walls, the audience is going to think Spider-Man. Add in elements of The Fly and the audience, if they’d stayed with you this long, will also see the similarities. It’s lazy writing.

I hate it when writers make their characters do things totally out of character or just so dumb that it defies logic. Hiro should be exploring the extent of his powers, not being bored in his father’s office. As a scientist, Suresh would never inject himself with an untested serum out in the middle of nowhere for no apparent reason other than jealousy at the people with powers surrounding him.

All in all, the writing reminds me of the old The Death of Superman story. Doomsday and Supes go at it with fists of fury. It becomes this big deal with massive splash pages as the two slug it out. It’s just fucking dumb. Um, Superman can fly. He has heat vision and freezing breath. He easily defeats Doomsday by freezing him and flying or tossing him into space, preferably toward the direction of the sun. Story over.

I can only hope the writing picks up or this show is going to start hemorrhaging viewers.

On a different note, I just learned about a new movie which seems to be cribbing its visual cues and plot points straight out of Heroes… except with a bigger budget and stars.

Push features people with extraordinary powers trying to get away from a secret government organization who wants to use them to create an army of super-agents. I think I’ve read this story before about a hundred times. I might have even wrote something similar myself.

The movie stars Dakota Fanning (in 15 years time will have a career like Jodie Foster), Chris Evans (Hey, I was in Fantastic Four) and Camilla Belle (I’m the hot one who nobody knows and, yes, I was in 10,000 BC) as the runaways and Djimon Hounsou (I was in Blood Diamond with Leo) as the head bad guy. There’s even a direct rip-off of one of the more original bits from Heroes: a painting of the future.

Still, the trailer is full of action, I like the leads a great deal, the Hong Kong setting is cool and different, the MacGuffin is simple (a suitcase) and I have high hopes for the picture generating some buzz. If I’ve piqued your interest, you can watch the trailer below.