Toe the Line

For the last couple of days, I’ve been in varying degrees of pain. On Saturday night, my big toe started hurting and by Sunday night the top knuckle of my toe was red and swollen. I looked up “excruciating pain” in the Google and just below a picture of a guy getting kicked in the nuts was a picture of what my foot looked like.

The next day, I saw a trained medical professional about the acute pain in my foot. The cute nurse/practitioner diagnosed it as gout. I had thought as much about 12 hours prior.

So along with the Caesars and Ben Franklin, I have gout. Up until I saw the doctor, the pain was relatively manageable with a cocktail of Advil and Tylenol. However, Monday afternoon the big toe had other plans.

Walking to get my prescription filled, the pain was shooting up my leg. Even when I finally sat down on a bench, my toe throbbed with a dull ache. I could have used a cane to get back to the car. I’m pretty sure a 90-year-old grandma passed me in the aisle.

In the middle of the afternoon, I fell on my couch and tentatively took my Sketchers off. I downed a bunch of the steroids I was supposed to take and contemplated the other drug I was given – Vicodin.

I had never had a prescription narcotic before. I had no idea if this pill would knock me out, make me loopy or make me want more. So, I took two.

A few hours later, I finally felt like I could put some weight on the foot without wincing in pain. The Vicodin did the trick. I actually felt pretty good. I wasn’t going out and running a six minute mile or anything, but compared to the pain I had three hours ago it was like walking on air (or sunshine if you are so inclined).

So, that’s my story of why I haven’t been on here in a while. This was my first flare up and I have no idea what the trigger might have been. However, I do know the foot pain was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.

On the other hand, Vicodin works pretty well. At least that’s what Dr. House told me.