Ask a Stupid Question Part Deux

35. Ever been in love?
I’ve been in love exactly twice in my life. I thought I was once, but I was wrong.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Working, spending time with their kids and significant other. Playing bass in KISS.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
Probably. I don’t think they are my favorite.

38. Last time you cried?
I kinda teared up when old Demontongue himself got choked up over his daughter’s Sweet 16. I am not so far away from my daughter hitting the same age. Yikes!

39. What was the last question you asked?
“What time do you want me to go down?” Baby.

40. Favorite time of the year?
Christmas time. Comes once a year. Christmas time’s the time that all should bring good cheer once a year.

41. Do you have any tattoos?
All my tattoos have been temporary, but will that remain so?

42. Are you sarcastic?
Not in a Chandler Bing kind of way. Really. No, Reeealllly.

43. Are you getting sick of answering questions by now?
I love questions. Ask me more.

44. Ever walked into a wall?
I don’t think so. Walked into a glass door before. Had a door hit me in the face once.

45. Favorite color?
You know, life is simple. It’s either Cherry Red or Midnight Blue.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Your mother’s ass.

47. Is your hair curly?
Cause, my hair is curly
Just because my teeth are pearly
Just because I always wear a smile
Like to dress up in the latest style.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Actually purchase a CD? What are you living in some sort of stone age?

49. Do looks matter?
Are you ugly?

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Depends on the kind of cheat.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
I have never gone over my minutes or my text messages in all the time I’ve owned a cell phone.

52. Do you like your life right now?
No. The only way I’ll be happy is if I have a billion dollars in the bank; Jessica Alba, Rachel Bilson and Jennifer Aniston in my bed; a fleet of luxury cars, boats and planes; a house in LA, NYC, Paris and London; a best sellling novel, the number one television show and the biggest box office hit of the summer; Brad Pitt’s body and immortality. So, not so good. But I have a secret plan.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I am not someone who falls asleep to late night television.

54. Can you handle the truth?
You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.

We use words like honor, code, loyalty…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ‘em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

55. Do you have good vision?
No, but I have X-Ray Vision, Heat Vision, Pentra-Vision, Martian Vision and I built the Vision

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
I have only hated one person in my life. I’ve disliked a great many people in my life. Some knew I didn’t like them. Some had no idea I existed.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Probably everyday.

58. The last person you held hands with?
Probably my daugther when she was having a bad reaction to a sunburn and I was trying to relax her so she could fall asleep.

59. What are you wearing?
A smile.

60. What is your favorite animal ?
I’m rather partial to homo sapiens. They got it going on.

61. Where was your default picture taken?
I dunno. Was it your fault?

62. Can you hula hoop?
No, but I can Hulu

63. Do you have a job?
Yes. I’ve been without a job in my life far too many times to count. I feel very lucky to have a job right now. Turning tricks on the street corner pays the bills, but my day job gives me a little spending money.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Diet Rite Cherry.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I crawled through my window when my terrible Aunt and Uncle had nailed it shut and my friends had to tear the window off the house in their flying car. Those crazy Weasly brothers…