Things I’ve Learned

No matter how bad a day I’m having, someone is having a much worse day. Perspective is a good thing.

I cant diet. I’m ridiculously bad at it. I need to exercise more. I’m reasonably better at that.

Sometimes the most popular songs by an artist aren’t their best songs. One of the best KISS songs you don’t know is “A Million to One.” It’s probably in my top five favorite KISS songs of all time. I bet you’ve never heard it.

I hate paying bills. I have the money to pay them, I just hate the actual process of sitting down and writing checks. Yes, I’m in the process of paying everything online.

You are either in love or you never were in love. There is no middle ground. I’ve been in true love two times. At one point I thought it might have been three, but I was mistaken. One broke my heart and the other I’m still not sure about. To some extent I still love them both. One more than the other.

I wish I didn’t have any regrets because I’m pretty happy with my life, but I do. I should have asked out that one girl in high school. I should have gone to more parties. I should have appreciated my friends more. I should have worried less and done more.

Being unprofessional in any endeavor is anathema to productive work. I have been guilty of it. You probably know someone who is that way all the time. If it’s you: correct it. If it’s someone else: avoid them or help them correct it.

Writing is hard. Math is hard too (Barbie told me), but I don’t enjoy doing math. Putting a written piece together that I’ve struggled with is a great feeling.

Nobody likes the latest material by a band that has been around for 20-30 years. Everyone politely waits for the band to get through whatever crap they are peddling so they can play “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” “Satisfaction” or “Rock and Roll All Nite.”

I never remember my dreams. Except for this one time when I dreamed I was running. It was awesome.

None of my friends are even remotely online as much as I am. I’m in front of a computer screen about 15 hours a day. This horrifies many people.

Outside of the Midwest, everyone pronounces Illinois as if its Illinoize. This is annoying to people who actually live in Illinois.

Speaking of Illinois, those who live in Chicago believe anything below I-80 is the deep, deep south i.e banjo playing, inbred rednecks. This is annoying to people who actually live in Illinois under I-80. And probably rednecks.

I dont like songs without a discernible melody. Iron Maiden is melodic. Radiohead not so much.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle tangled Christmas tree lights. Personally, I slowly work through them until they aren’t tangled and never get upset about it. Others have too little patience. You can also tell a lot about a person by how they talk to a waiter and deal with airline personnel when they’ve missed a flight or lost luggage.

A friend is someone I would contact if I was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. Not you, friendo.

The best shape of my life was when I was 18. I took it completely for granted.

Readers love lists. You finished this one now, didn’t you?