CHEESED OFF

Who has better cheese curds: Culver’s or Cousins?

Matt Wild, writing in the Milwaukee Record, has published one of the all-time best articles on cheese curds. Of course, this review is so much more than Culver’s versus Cousins. He’s got a few thoughts about his great state of Wisconsin and some of its residents and he’s cleverly slid them in a not so subtle way.

So how are Cousins’ cheese curds? They’re really, really, really good. They’re big, they’re fluffy, and they deliver that all-important squeak when you bite into them. Plus, there was a lone fry hiding in my cheese curd box, and okay, Cousins’ fries are pretty good. I honestly can’t believe these curds come from a fast food joint, just like I can’t believe this ghoul/dolt claiming that the opening of the State Fair field hospital is a political stunt. A political stunt! Honestly, these fucking people. Nothing will convince them. Nothing will change their minds. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

 

So at what point do we have to accept reality and try something else? Death won’t convince these people. Press briefings won’t convince these people. Reporting won’t convince these people. Even the White House won’t convince these people. “Wisconsin’s ability to limit further and avoid increases in hospitalizations and deaths will depend on increased observation of social distancing mitigation measures by the community,” the White House’s COVID-19 Task Force said yesterday. “Lack of compliance with these measures will lead to preventable deaths.” Unreal. Absolutely unreal. And still: nothing. What’s that old quote that Albert Einstein never said? “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” At what point do Evers, Democrats, and anyone with half a brain have to accept reality and just…get on with it? I’m not saying we should give up, and I’m certainly not advancing a “Both sides are equally bad!” argument, but I can take only so many impotent calls for common sense and cooperation before I lose it. Seriously, we could fast-forward 400 years into the future and there would be seven people left on the planet and somehow Evers would still be saying, “Folks, I’m disappointed the Republicans tossed out my Safer At Home order 400 years and five months ago, but we really need to start working together.” Good grief, I really am losing it. I spent the weekend in a small town and witnessed, oh, about 90% of folks absolutely not giving a shit about masks or social distancing or occupancy limits or anything else, and just getting on with their lives. Bars were full. Gas stations were full. An apple orchard was full. There was a band. The biggest grocery store in town had a sign that basically said, “Wear a mask if you want, but we don’t give a good goddamn if you don’t.” And then, on Sunday, I drove back to Milwaukee where we remain in a weird limbo where some businesses are kinda-sorta open and some businesses are completely closed and some businesses are on the verge of completely closing any day now. And boy was it fun explaining to my kid that even though her cousin was going to school and seeing her friends, she likely won’t see the inside of a Milwaukee classroom or any of her Milwaukee friends for the rest of the school year. And again, I’m not throwing in the towel or blaming people who are ultimately doing the right thing. I know who the villains are. I know who’s to blame. I’m just…so ground down by all of this. I’m so tired. I’m at wits’ end. My mind is starting to crack. My family is starting to crack. Everything is starting to crack. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think is, “I can’t believe I have to do this again.” This isn’t fun. It never was fun. I honestly don’t see an end to this. Is it really just every person for themselves? Can someone please do something? Is that too much to ask? Anyone. Anything. Please. Please. Please.

 

Cousins’ cheese curds are better than Culver’s cheese curds. Culver’s founded National Cheese Curd Day back in 2015, so I feel kind of bad giving the title to Cousins, but it’s true. I still love Culver’s and Cousins equally, though. Happy National Cheese Curd Day. Wear a mask. Do something. Please.

Glorious.

Bravo.