10 awesome things about being fully vaccinated

Will Leitch offers 10 awesome things about being fully vaccinated:

1. There’s a virus out there that has killed more than four million people nationwide over the last two years, but I don’t have to worry about dying from it now. And if I get nervous about a variant, I can apparently just go get another shot.


2. For a long time, way way too long, I was unable to see anyone other than the people who live in my house because I was afraid I would either contract Covid-19 from them or give it to someone else. It would be bad to contract Covid-19, but as far as I was concerned, giving it to someone else would be much, much worse. Now I can be around other vaccinated people and not sweat one bit. It’s fine! It’s totally back to normal!


3. I can hug them now. Or sit two feet away from them and talk. Or just breathe right in their goddamned face. It’s awesome!


4. Despite being three months out, I do not have a third eye growing out of my back.


5. I am not magnetic, either. The vaccine does not make you magnetic. It’s a shame, actually: It’d be pretty cool to be magnetic.


6. I can get on planes, I can travel to foreign countries, I can go to concerts featuring very old musicians, I can even get a free Krispy Kreme donut.


7. I can know that my parents, who are older than I am at thus at higher risk, are also vaccinated, so I can hang out with them all the time without worrying about them any more than I already worry about them, which is admittedly a lot.


8. I can know that I have done my part to try to bring an end a pandemic that has upset every aspect of human life in every country on this planet in a profound way that we won’t be able to truly appreciate for decades to come. My part has been a very small part, but when my grandkids ask me 50 years from now if I got vaccinated to try to end the pandemic, I won’t have to give them some insane explanation about magnets. (Though to be fair I will almost certainly be long dead.)


9. Seriously, I get to just walk around the world just fine. The pandemic isn’t over. But now that I’m vaccinated … it sorta is? Or at least in the three feet radius in which I occupy?


10. There is absolutely no possibility that I will be lying in an ICU, desperate for air, looking at the ceiling and thinking, “I cannot believe I did not get vaccinated. What a total, complete idiot I am.”

You could have all ten of these things. It’s very easy!




August 2, 2021 | Lessons